Wednesday, 8 July 2009

A bus ride to Barmouth for Monkeh

You last joined us when Monkeh had nicked the contents of my purse and hopped on a bus to Barmouth.

He just couldn't wait to get there as he not only had family there, but an old flame who he actually met up with, her name was Annette (Monkeh pictured talking to her and her sisters).

He was so excited as he hadn't seen Annette for such a long time and boy had she grown but was still as thin as ever. Monkeh told her that he was on the run and she advised him to lie low for a bit and she gave him the name and address of a local B & B which was run by a rather arrogant Yorkshire Man, who himself had dabbled in some dodgy dealings.

The only problem was that the B & B wouldn't let you book in until after 3pm, so Monkeh had a couple of hours to kill and in that time, how much trouble can one Monkeh cause?

Monkeh met up with another old friend of his, George Seagull. He was telling Monkeh how he has just made a film and that they are looking for extras for his next one if he was interested.

"There's only one drawback" said George to Monkeh "you have to be Welsh and a woman" but he insisted that it was very easy to achieve.

Monkeh got really excited. The prospect of being in a film was just a wonderful feeling. He'd always wanted to expand his portfolio, afterall, there's only so much you can do about tea for 30 seconds a time.

Filming was due to start in the morning and last for several days. The costume fitting would be the first thing that the extras would have to go for and Monkeh thought that he could pass himself off as a woman, afterall, he'd passed himself off as the Queen once for an alternative Christmas Day broadcast and no-one seemed to notice.

Monkeh decided that once he'd booked into his B & B (using the credit card that he nicked from my bag!) he could have a good night's kip and put lots of moisturiser on his face and shave so that you couldn't see his Monkeh stubble and start practising his Welsh.

Luckily, he had a couple of friends living locally who were notorious and would do anything for a night in a decent B & B. Bethan and Blodwyn, or The Williams Sisters, as they are known locally, had made friends with Monkeh years ago when he used to work on the fun fair with his Uncle.

He rang the sisters and told them that he was in town and wondered if they would come to his B & B later to give him a few pointers on how to pass himself off as a Welsh woman.

It was coming up to checking in time and so Monkeh made his way to his B & B which was in a seedy part of Barmouth down a little narrow lane. He found the place and it was dark, miserable and very much out of the way - perfect for lying low.

He made his way to the reception and spoke to the woman to book a room. Sadly, he couldn't use the credit card as the name didn't match, but he did have the cash and she accepted that, with no questions asked and then sent him upstairs.........but what awaited him?

With so many restrictions - will Monkeh manage to sneak his friends up to his room?

Find out tomorrow in the next thrilling installment of Monkeh's trip to Wales.

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